Hello Listeners. :)
It's not always easy to take your own advice.
It's not always easy to be the bigger person.
And it's certainly not always easy to retract on your inital reaction.
Now, this revelation didn't come as a result of chilling out, maxing, and relaxing all cool in a perfectly adorable coffee house (Shout Out to The Daily Grind!). This revelation came while a woman was sucking her lips and rolling her eyes at me in a manner that suggested that she was ready to throw me over her knee and give me a spanking. While treating me as an adolescent is never acceptable (especially in the first meeting), it is defintely unacceptable when you are really just looking for someone to hold responsible for your problem, someone to blame for your anger, and neither of of those "someone's" is me.
Now, nature's law would suggest that if you step on the lioness' tail, you've basically made the last intelligent (or lack thereof) choice you're going to make, because you're probably going to be cub chow within the next ten minutes, right? Do you ever think that the lioness wonders to herself, "Hmm. It was probably an accident. They really didn't mean to challenge my pride (no pun intended), disrespectfully infiltrate my territory, and try to demean my self-worth. They were just...upset."
Now yes, this is an extreme example, especially consdiering that I am not a lioness, but I do think both the fiereness and ferlessness of the lioness reside in the heart of a woman. There is the (almost frightening) animal instinct to protect her life and the life of her offspring and family, the chase and the queenly leadership behind the hunt, and the grace to live beside the leader of your pack without losing your own Alpha tendencies.
I wonder sometimes if integriry and self-wroth go hand-in-hand. My answer came when I decided to look up the meaning of "integrity." It's defined as both adherence to moral character AND as the state of being whole or undiminished. That sounds likes a "yes" to me. It's not simple to keep the roar under-wraps, but that doesn't mean that silence--rather submission is the only option.
See, I know many a lioness who not necessarily strike first, but are definintely silent defenders of her pack, watching quietly and dangerously, daring somone to disrespect her territory...and her demeanor is still as soft as a powderpuff and twice as gentle. She'll still cut you, though. ;)
It says a lot about character to want to cut someone with words or actions (or both lol) and choose not to, while still holing your integriry, not letting them make you one they should tread underfoot. As for me, be that in silence or otherwise, my worth is mine, and while some may have the audacity to challenge it, the right to tread it underfoot belongs to no one...not even the impatient.
*ROOOAR!*
Stay Fierce, Friends. ;)
From the Heart of the Poetress,
aM
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
If I Can't Sell It NOW, I'M NOT GOING TO SIT DOWN ON IT FOREVER, BUT I Still Won't Give It Away.
Hello Listeners. :)
I find that I let my mind wander quite a bit during my lunch break. I think of many things: people, places, nouns in general. Today, I inadvertently reminded myself of why I love to write. It's not just because I'm good at it. It's not just because I love to tell stories. It's not even because it's expected of me.
In truth, it's because writing is a part of me, and be there hurricane or drought, famine or feast, I always have writing as a haven. I've been blessed because I've had the privilege to have my go-to-haven cultivated by educators I admire as well as authors I've read. The latter are people that I may never meet (as most of them are either aged or dead), but whom have sent their private and public thoughts out into the world, like ships onto the sea.
So, why do I bring all of this up? Well, it's because my mind's eye reminded me of something today.
It is easy to doubt your gifts, to not see what everyone obviously sees in you,to discount your gifts' value. Moreover, it's almost more terrible to keep your gifts to yourself should you let doubt or hard knocks (some things ARE OUT OF our CONTROL) set in. Not giving all of you could be a combination of a few things: fear, bad timing, lack, no encouragement, whatever. But to keep your gift to yourself is like saying, "I have the pearl of great price....SHIIIINY...and I'm going to keep it as a make-believe hacky-sack because someone out there may not appreciate it as much as I do...or misuse/ damage it."
Sometimes I will try to write, and the personal obstacles in my day will make me go, "WHY CAN'T I PHRASE ANYTHING?!" It'll make me feel...it'll make me feel...
**sighs**
It'll make me feel, and that in and of itself may be the deal-maker, or the deal-breaker.
My Dad used to remind my family that feelings are fickle things, and while they are genuine, one moment can change a FEELING from being a 1 to being a 1000. So I'll FEEL, but if I don't move on from what I FEEL, my ideas, my talents, nee' my DESTINY may hang in the balance.
It's a blessing if you are surrounded with people who encourage you to be your best self, especially when you feel that goal is temporarily out of your reach . We all have up-and-down days and moments, but to doubt all of it, to let fear constrict and suck all of the life out of what you know in your core that you can do is to cheat yourself, to sit on your purpose, to deny someone else the privilege of having an example of being completely true to one's self. To set people free with your gift is not an option if you have the ability; it's an obligation to the nations . Be it music or numbers or the ability to smile so brightly that you turn someone's life around, don't let the roadblocks make you pass by YOUR opportunity to shine...especially in those moments when you have to shine while your heart is breaking. Keep pushing.
Yeah, that's what I thought about while I ate my chicken soup and oatmeal raisin cookie at The Daily Grind today...just in case you haven't heard from me in a while. ;)
Keeping the Faith and Keeping It Real,
aM
I find that I let my mind wander quite a bit during my lunch break. I think of many things: people, places, nouns in general. Today, I inadvertently reminded myself of why I love to write. It's not just because I'm good at it. It's not just because I love to tell stories. It's not even because it's expected of me.
In truth, it's because writing is a part of me, and be there hurricane or drought, famine or feast, I always have writing as a haven. I've been blessed because I've had the privilege to have my go-to-haven cultivated by educators I admire as well as authors I've read. The latter are people that I may never meet (as most of them are either aged or dead), but whom have sent their private and public thoughts out into the world, like ships onto the sea.
So, why do I bring all of this up? Well, it's because my mind's eye reminded me of something today.
It is easy to doubt your gifts, to not see what everyone obviously sees in you,to discount your gifts' value. Moreover, it's almost more terrible to keep your gifts to yourself should you let doubt or hard knocks (some things ARE OUT OF our CONTROL) set in. Not giving all of you could be a combination of a few things: fear, bad timing, lack, no encouragement, whatever. But to keep your gift to yourself is like saying, "I have the pearl of great price....SHIIIINY...and I'm going to keep it as a make-believe hacky-sack because someone out there may not appreciate it as much as I do...or misuse/ damage it."
Sometimes I will try to write, and the personal obstacles in my day will make me go, "WHY CAN'T I PHRASE ANYTHING?!" It'll make me feel...it'll make me feel...
**sighs**
It'll make me feel, and that in and of itself may be the deal-maker, or the deal-breaker.
My Dad used to remind my family that feelings are fickle things, and while they are genuine, one moment can change a FEELING from being a 1 to being a 1000. So I'll FEEL, but if I don't move on from what I FEEL, my ideas, my talents, nee' my DESTINY may hang in the balance.
It's a blessing if you are surrounded with people who encourage you to be your best self, especially when you feel that goal is temporarily out of your reach . We all have up-and-down days and moments, but to doubt all of it, to let fear constrict and suck all of the life out of what you know in your core that you can do is to cheat yourself, to sit on your purpose, to deny someone else the privilege of having an example of being completely true to one's self. To set people free with your gift is not an option if you have the ability; it's an obligation to the nations . Be it music or numbers or the ability to smile so brightly that you turn someone's life around, don't let the roadblocks make you pass by YOUR opportunity to shine...especially in those moments when you have to shine while your heart is breaking. Keep pushing.
Yeah, that's what I thought about while I ate my chicken soup and oatmeal raisin cookie at The Daily Grind today...just in case you haven't heard from me in a while. ;)
Keeping the Faith and Keeping It Real,
aM
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